Some people are SERIOUS about their weeding and their mobbing. Others are just there for the eats or the meets. Here’s how you ID a real weed mobber:
Shows up in a pick-up truck, odometer approaching 200K, with his or her own favorite tools. And a dog named Wolfy.
REAL mobbers get dirty: Not like a face with dirt on it, but dirt with a face on it.
Boots held together by duct tape. Socks? For what, holding the coffee grounds?
REAL mobbers don’t swear in front of the little ones. Save the harsh language for the weeds Big Guy.
REAL mobbers know it’s all about the love. We’re not here to hate on any plants, it’s just our endless quest for balance.
REAL mobbers hug. Make that HUG!
REAL mobbers listen, we have much to learn…
What would REAL mobbers do for a homemade pickle?
REAL mobbers think the moon is cool, and so are clouds. And chickens.
REAL mobbers have the coolest hats. Sometimes they’re on backwards or sideways.
REAL mobbers list their favorites:
- Movie: Cool Hand Luke. well, yeah…. “swingin’ it here, Boss”
- Drink: Local beer, raw milk (maybe not together)
- Chow: not picky, just eat it, but definitely local
- Color: that’s easy – Green. With purple polka dots.
- Historical figure: John Paul Jones – “I have not yet begun to weed!”
- Tune: hmmmm, there are many:
- Back on the Chain Gang
- Can’t Touch This (Please Hammer, don’t hurt’ em!)
- Gangnam style Weednam style?
- It’s the End of the World as We Know It!
- Definitely any song by Dar Williams
- Any song by Aimee Mann, Melissa Etheridge, Johnny Cash
- Rock and Roll Hoochie Koo
- Don’t Fear the Reaper
- Desperado and Take It Easy
- Come Find Me, Audrey Auld (oh my…)
- Don’t Come Around Here no More
- Any sound ever produced by Phish
- All music that’s live and local
Finally, REAL mobbers choose their words carefully. We’re all human, we all make mistakes, but if we pull up the wrong plant accidentally or flip someone’s hamburger into the mud, we DON’T say “well, throw me in a briar patch….” The office drones can get away with that, cuz it’s unlikely that they HAVE a briar patch there in the cubicle. WE, however… must choose our words and expressions with a bit more care. Copy?
Suggestions welcome if you feel the above list is incomplete. How’d you score?